Our tumble dryer broke. The door wouldn’t shut. It was giving us electric shocks. So I took out a sledgehammer and smashed it to pieces.
What really happened:
Our tumble dryer broke. The door wouldn’t shut. It was giving us electric shocks. We had a fiddle with the door but couldn’t fix it so we ordered a new one.
Anger doesn’t help you solve your problems. Taking your rage out on the cause of your problem, or someone or something in the vicinity, never helps.
Ask any tradesman, “what’s your problem solving process?” He will never say, “well, first I get really, really angry.”
So why do we?
Why when something goes wrong in a relationship do we let the red mist descend? Why when we suffer a turn of bad fortune do we allow our blood to boil?
Some people will say that they can’t help it. That it is uncontrollable. I can empathise. I have felt such anger and let it consume me. But I do not sympathise. In my mind, to say you “can’t control it” is a cop out. “Can’t” means won’t.
See, anger is the antithesis to the state we need to be in to solve a problem. We need composure. To consider the factors involved, the possible outcomes and the actions available to us.
Not only is anger destructive to your reputation and power base. Not only is anger a common ally of the villain and those on the side of evil. Anger annihilates your ability to solve problems.
It distorts your perceptions. It skews your judgements and it poisons the actions you take.